His Secret Obsession Book Review 2021

I’ve been reading His Secret Obsession by James Bauer for the second time now and I decided to write this review because I know there are tons of fake reviews out there about books and products. For the rest of the article, HSO means His Secret Obsession because that’s just a long word to type a lot of times. So you’ll appreciate my laziness 🙂

HSO is all about saying the right things to a man so that he not only falls in love with you, you also become his secret obsession. And while that might be a good thing in the beginning of a relationship, personally, I think it would become somewhat of a dangerous situation. But, this book makes sure that you don’t reach that point.

Look, I’ll cut out all the funny stuff here. Let’s look at relationships in the realest way possible. I’ll divide a relationship into 3 stages:

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Stage 1. You guys are very attracted to each other. And you just can’t spend enough time together

Stage 2. You guys are now in a relationship for a couple of months and the excitement is dying down. This is what most people call the end of the honeymoon phase.

Stage 3. By this point you guys are in the relationship for about a year or two and you guys literally feel no excitement whatsoever.

What 95% of us forget about relationships, is that every relationship needs seduction from time to time to rekindle that passion and excitement that you guys had in the beginning. The goal of HSO is that you keep the relationship in stage 2 and you can keep rekindling the excitement and the passion when you notice that it’s dying down. That way, you can have a strong, long lasting relationship that would hopefully last a lifetime.

Before I spill the beans about whether you should get this book or not, let’s take the time to look at what it’s really about.

What is His Secret Obsession About?

The basic idea of this book is that it wants to help women learn phrases and tricks that they can use to make their relationship strong and improve the strength of their with the guy. It basically dives deep into the male psyche to help women understand what phrases they can use to invoke certain emotions.

And not only that, it also explains why those phrases trigger those emotions. So it’s not a step by step to improve the situation of your relationship, it helps you understand what your partner thinks like, and how you can help him get what he wants out of the relationship, while also making sure that you are getting what you want as well.

So, basically, it’s creating a win-win situation by making sure that both persons needs are met.

James Bauer calls invoking these emotions – Hero Instinct Secret Signals.

What is the Hero Instinct?

The Hero Instinct is the same as any other instinct like hunger and thirst that drives every human being. Once you invoke this instinct using the phrases he mentions in the book, you will start to become the most alluring woman in his life and will step up to claim you as his one and only woman.

I know this all sounds like a lot of woo-woo but trust me, it works. I’ve tried it on my boyfriend and it works like crazy. We’ve done a complete 180 on our relationship since I started using these phrases. And don’t worry, Bauer includes a step by step guide that you can use to activate this Hero Instinct.

Honestly, I think the name Hero Instinct is a bit cheesy, but whatever. If it works, it works. I don’t mind using it as it is.

But remember, this is no magic.

Let’s dive into the details of this book so you know what it’s about:

1. Relationship List

You might think that this is the list that you can use to divide men into different categories like: cuddling, going to clubs with, dating, etc.

But it’s the other way around. It’s a list of traits that you can pick up to make men think that you are relationship material.

2. Get the Ex Back

Let’s be honest, nobody loves breakups. They are usually messy and it hurts both parties. But if you are one of those women who are reluctant and not ready to move on. You just want the guy you were in the relationship with, James has some tips that you can use to make you ex come back to you.

3. Giving a Glimpse (becoming irresistible to him)

Let’s say you guys met for the first time. And you find out that he has a great personality and you want him to be really really attracted to you. Well, there are techniques you can use to make sure that you’re just giving him enough of a glimpse that he would want to know more about you.

Personally, I think this is the best thing that the book teaches women.

4. Stuck on an Island

It’s the usual “what would you do if you were stuck on an island” scenario. But this time, it’s about you weighing the pros and cons of the relationship and whether or not you want your man to be stuck on this island with you and both of you never wanting to leave the place.

5. I Own You

Now this might sound very manipulative, but trust me, it’s not. It’s just a bad name James chose for this section. I blame him for this.

The point of this section of the book is to teach women to create an environment where you can help your man open up to you even more. To allow him to share his secrets, weaknesses and insecurities with you so you guys have a deeper bond together.

6. The Activation Signal, aka, unlocking his hero instinct using his 12 secret phrases

This is the section where you’ll learn how you can use your hidden talents that you just learned from the book to activate the hero instinct in your man.

Ready to take action?

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Pros and Cons of Buying His Secret Obsession Book

My goal with this review is to give you an in-depth look into what you’ll be getting when you buy it. And you ought to know the good and the bad. So here it is.

Let’s start with the things I liked about this book:


James Is Experienced

There’s no other way to say this – James Bauer knows what he’s talking about. And you’ll notice that as soon as you start reading the book. The way he goes into each and every detail about why and how our brains work, how it’s hard-wired to do certain things in certain scenarios. It goes to show you that not only has he done his research, he also have a LOT of experience in this field.

And why wouldn’t he?

The man has been a psychologist for over 12 years. He probably has seen all kinds of patients throughout his career and was able to learn from each one of them.

Not just that, he also provides you with proof which is something I love to see.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reading the hypotheticals as well (overthinker alert!), but if there’s proof attached to those scenarios, it makes me into a believer.


Very In-depth

Continuing off the previous Pro, the book is VERY in-depth. It’s 200 pages long and does not have any fluff content in it.

That’s the best part really. People talk about “getting to the meat” of the book. This whole book is meat. From start to finish it is filled with explanations about how our brains work, tips, secrets, case studies, etc. about how you can trigger the hero instinct.

This book is no nonsense and delivers exactly what it says on their sales page.

James’ goal was to make sure that every woman that reads this book, knows exactly how to trigger the hero instinct by the time she puts her phone down (this is an ebook, no physical copies available yet). And I think he did achieve that goal. At least in my case, he was successful.


All Practical Advice

Most people out there, when it comes to relationship advice, they talk about things that sounds like idealistic thoughts. They are not grounded in reality. Things like being vulnerable, showing your feminine side, etc.

Like yeah sure, that sounds good. But you want specifics on how you can do that right? You also want to make sure that you aren’t going overboard with that stuff. It should be genuine things that you do.

All that advice sounds fake because there are no specific case studies that you can relate to and see how it’s done.

In His Secret Obsession, you get practical advice. James doesn’t steer into the abstract concepts of relationships. He stays steady on the topic that he aims to deliver.

You get specific actions you can take to trigger the hero instinct in your man. And he doesn’t leave it there, he also goes into specific scenarios with case studies about how other people have used the steps that he has given in the book and how their dating lives have improved so much.

He goes into a lot of detail about the before and after of the dating lives of his case studies. He gives you an in-depth picture about how their lives were before the women knew how to activate the hero instinct, and after.


There’s a Money Back Guarantee

This is the best part I think.

Most women have been through so many BS books and courses out there that they would rather go through another breakup or worse, a divorce than spend a single cent on another of one these kinds of things. And I know where they are coming from because all the books and courses they bought before disappointed them.

They didn’t deliver the results that were promised and they also took the money.

Not the case with His Secret Obsession.

This book comes with a 60 day no questions asked money back guarantee. If you aren’t satisfied with the book, you can get a refund.

I think this is how it should be. If an author portrays himself as an expert, they should be willing to put the money where their mouth is.



You thought I wasn’t going to list any cons ha? You were WRONG!

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the book and it delivered on what was promised. But there are a few things that I wish James would have included in the book.

But I understand that it might not be possible.


Only for Straight Women

This one would be a shocker for some of you, but this book is only for straight women. I understand where the author is coming from though – every book needs to have a specific audience. Or else it would be too broad and he wouldn’t be able to deliver value to his readers.

But in the spirit of having happier, more fulfilling relationships, I wish he would’ve given some advice for same-sex couples too.

A counterpoint to that would be – he didn’t give advice because he might not have enough experience dealing with same-sex couples. And that makes sense. But we can still draw some conclusions about how our brains work based on the content available in the book. And we could probably use some tips and techniques here there and help same-sex couples too.


There no physical version of the book?

Call me old school, but this was shocking to me. I understand that it’s 2020 and we should be able to get everything we want on our smartphones and laptops. But the feeling and importance that you get when reading a physical book is just something else.

For now, the book is only available in a PDF format or an audiobook. Both are high quality though.


Will this Book Work for You? Or Is It Just a Scam? And, When Should You Read it?

Now, there’s no doubt that this book to written for women. The whole world might think that men are simple minded and they only want one thing, you know that’s not the truth. That’s the reason why you’re reading this review.

After going through the book, I noticed that many of the pieces of information in this book are very insightful. And especially useful for the women who are looking for it. James Bauer has definitely done his research and is experienced enough, I’ll give him that.

For women, I definitely recommend that you read this book. Even if your relationship is going smoothly right now, you need to be prepared when it starts going through the turbulence. That’s when you’ll need to be ready to have this information at your disposal. I’ve seen so many cute and good relationships get destroyed just because none of the partners were willing to put in a little bit of seduction in there to bring back the passion and excitement.

Relationships are hard work. But it’s worth it to be so close to someone.

But if you’re a man, you should read it too over a weekend when you’ve got no plans. It might even be funny for you given the irony of some of the sections. I know this because my boyfriend has gone through the book and pointed those things out to me. And now that I think of it, it kinda is ironic lol.

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Final Verdict?

I have to say, the title of this book is very cheesy. And it sounds like that it will feed on the insecurity of the man and allow the woman to use that insecurity to invoke certain emotions in the guy. But I was wrong. This book definitely has a lot of thoughtful ideas and techniques that I’ve personally used for my relationship.

And it has made things better. It definitely exceeded my expectations when it comes to books and how applicable they are.

I don’t want to end this review by leaving you hanging in there. I’ll nudge you in the right decision. If you think you could use a bit more love in your relationship, definitely get the book. Ignore the title (I know it sounds like a cash grab, but it’s not, trust me). Go through the book twice and apply it.

But if your relationship is going smooth. Or maybe you’ve just gotten into a new relationship and you guys are still in the honeymoon phase, you should get this book too. Because all relationships follow a predictable pattern that I mentioned in the 3 stages above. So before you hit stage 3, you know what you have to do.

But if you already know what to do to invoke passion and excitement into your relationship, then you shouldn’t get this book. Or if you’re a guy, you shouldn’t get it either, unless you want to be amused at the things that us women need to be taught, which would be really cute of you.

Lastly, I’d give this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. Definitely worth the money and the time I took to read it and apply.

So what are you waiting for? Go get the book! www.HisSecretOBsession.com


Some Frequently Asked Questions About His Secret Obsession

Who is James Bauer?

He is the author of His Secret Obsession. So why did he write this book? What gives him more credibility than your aunt Mary?

Well, he is a qualified psychologist and has over 12 years of experience in the dating and relationship field. The main thing he is renowned for is his approach to helping people understand how the mind of the opposite sex works. In this book’s case, he teaches women how a man’s mind works and how it is biologically different than a woman’s mind.

So in order to have a happy relationship, people need to understand how their other half thinks. That way, they can make sure that both of them are on the same page if things go wrong.


Is His Secret Obsession Really Worth It?

I’m gonna be fully honest here. I’ve seen a lot of relationships break down. And that’s part of life. Relationships break down all the time. But here’s what I think – if you had the ability to learn how your boyfriend’s mind worked. Or your husband’s mind worked. Wouldn’t you at least try to make your relationship better? More fulfilling?

At the end of the day, aren’t we all looking for a more fulfilling life? A happier life with someone who we can fully trust and stay loyal to. And someone who trusts us and is loyal to us as well?

From my perspective, I see this book as a tool that you can use to attempt to make your relationship better. See if it goes somewhere. And even if one person can make their relationship better, more happier with this book, I think their investment would be worth it.

I think this will work for almost every woman out there. We just have to be open to learn how a man’s mind works and how we can use this knowledge to not only have a happier relationship for ourselves, but for our significant other as well.


What is the Hero Instinct?

The hero instinct is one of the main pillars in the book. James Bauer explains how men have a biological urge to help women out. And we have seen this throughout human history. Men have thrown themselves in front of bullets and fire to save women. It’s almost like an action hero where they would try their best to be the provider for the woman they love.

It’s so romantic when you think about it.


So how do you trigger the hero instinct in your man?

That’s what James Bauer teaches in His Secret Obsession. Here’s the cool part though – most people think that he teaches women how they can manipulate their man into doing what they want. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

What he teaches is taking an approach that would satisfy the biological mind of your man, once you are able to do that, you will be way happier in the relationship. And it is a common sense approach but most people seem to ignore it these days. You want to make sure that you focus on the hero instinct because if you can manage to get it right and trigger these instincts in your man’s mind, it’s smooth sailing from there.


Is His Secret Obsession a Scam?

I’ve personally went through the book and I don’t think this is a scam. Not only have I read it, I have also applied what James teaches in my own relationship and we have gotten closer than ever. It is amazing how the things that he teaches are simple, yet almost all of us rarely ever think about it.

The rare thing I see being taught in this book are the in-depth concepts about male psychology. So many people out there teach about female psychology – from pickup to saving their marriage. And that’s amazing.

But it takes two to tango. If you don’t know how your man’s mind works, it doesn’t matter if you know the ins and outs of a female mind. You need to understand how their mind works so you can understand how they feel, how they think and what you can do to make this relationship a LOT more satisfying and happier for them and yourself.


How much does this book cost?

Alright no sugar coating – this book costs $47. I know.

This isn’t your usual $5 book you can get on Amazon.

And honestly, I wouldn’t expect it to be that cheap. I rarely see books that are as comprehensive as His Secret Obsession where clearly the author has done so much research that you cannot deny his expertise.

A lot of the books I read these days just feel like someone was trying really hard to get on the New York Times bestsellers list.

James makes sure that you get your money’s worth. With 200+ pages of info that you can read through there’s even more info and some bonuses that you get once you purchase it. Things like workbooks, etc.

And if you ever feel like this thing is not worth $47, remember, you always have the 60 day money back guarantee.

I think it’s fair to give it a shot because the author is taking all the risk. All you have to do is read his book, his research and case studies and try out what he teaches. And if you don’t think your relationship is getting better, you can get a refund. 60 days is more than enough time to test it out.

Where can I buy this book?

You can buy it from their official website here.